Standing on the edge





  I feel like I'm standing on the edge of something great.

I wrote those words two months ago in my journal, although having absolutely no idea what that something great was at the time. Although now, I think I have a pretty clear picture. Although now, I don't feel like I'm standing on the edge of a high place, I feel like I'm at the foot of a mountain, looking up at an incredibly steep incline, and I feel so insignificantly small. I've come to accept what I believe to be God's will for the summer after graduation....although what happens after that, I haven't the foggiest. After I climb and conquer the mountain of my fears and insecurities, then I will once again be standing on the edge, with great things behind me and greater things before. Standing on the edge of everything familiar, ready to once again dive deep into the waters of life with a leap of faith, and embark on the next chapter of this adventure we call life.

 I'm struggling.....with my fears and everything that everyone wrestles with when it 'hits' them that they are growing up....Beating myself up over bad decisions long regretted pertaining to time management and schoolwork, finally starting to get it through my thick skull that God forgave me long ago, and that I'm the only one blaming and criticizing myself for things that are in my past and should stay there! Once you give God your baggage, it serves absolutely no purpose for you to keep taking it back!

 "...as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."
Psalm 103:12

 God has removed your sins from you as far as the east is from the west! There is no reason to cross the world in a self-detrimental trek to chase your sins down again! You can only be a useful vessel for Christ once you fully accept and embrace the grace and forgiveness that is so freely given. Only then can you stand on the edge, face your fears of the unknown, and tune your ears to the Voice of Truth.


Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone

To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me

Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!'
"You'll never win"

But the voice of truth tells me a different story

And the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth



 Voice of Truth-Casting Crowns

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