Wash your face and trust God

 “Occasionally, weep deeply over the life that you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Feel the pain. Then wash your face, trust God, and embrace the life that he’s given you.”  -John Piper

I share this quote with some regularity but it seems to be hitting me harder than usual this week. I’m so grateful for the confidence I can have in my God and in what He’s doing in my life because few things are going according to *my* plan.

We have our baby girl home with us now, and I have so much respect for parents whose babies are in the NICU for a longer period of time, because three days hurt my heart enough. 

So many things surrounding her birth didn’t go according to my original plan. 

I wanted to have the house super clean and organized when she arrived

That didn’t happen 

I wanted to work up until my due date.

That didn’t happen. 

I wanted to have my baby in my hospital room and not have to waddle down to the NICU to see my baby hooked up to tubes. 

I wanted as natural a birth as possible and ended up being induced. 

I wanted to breastfeed and we ended up deciding on formula for a litany of reasons that have already proven to be the best for our family. 

These are all relatively minor things, and I’m so beyond grateful for God’s provision and working for good through everything. 

But some of these things have a slight grief related to them. The night my daughter was born I cried because she couldn’t be with me all the time and I was terrified we wouldn’t be able to bond. I didn’t doubt that God would work it all for good, I didn’t doubt she was in the hands of very capable, WONDERFUL nurses who did so much to help our girl. 

But still I grieved. And still I cried. And the two are not mutually exclusive. Grieving things that may not always make sense can happen while still trusting God. 

Consider King David while his baby son was sick. He was grieving and beside himself. When the baby passed, King David returned from his grief back to daily life, and his servants were shocked. 

But David knew what Piper knows, and what I’m learning. 

It’s perfectly okay to grieve things that we would prefer not happen. It’s okay to be deeply sad and weepy. But for the Christian, we have cause and encouragement to not stay there. We have a God who works all things for the good.  And even beyond that, he usually sneaks in things to make us smile and bless us, even among the suck. 

I LOVE my doctor. Seriously love this woman. 

She got to deliver baby E. 

My husband is the most supportive and level headed person ever

He was there to help me and do all the annoying phone calls and paperwork that I didn’t have the energy to do. 

And even without all these blessings, Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins and has given me a garauntee of eternal life. 

If I can trust him to keep that promise, I can trust that he’s working through everything, the pleasant and the unpleasant, the steak dinners and the NICU stays. 

God is in this, and I may be grieving slightly in some ways but God is worthy of trust and praise and has given me a beautiful life well worth embracing. ❤️


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