Self-Care or Self Indulgence?



This post has been on my mind for quite a while, but every-time I try to write it, something stops me. Because I desperately want to be understood, and I know that what I have to say may be somewhat controversial.

Well, here goes anyway.

I hate the term "Self-Care". I just do. I don't even know why, because I'm not against the concept, in fact I'm in great favor of taking care of one's self, which seems to be the hallmark of so-called "Self-Care", but I think the reason i dislike the phrase is that it seems to elevate relaxation to something that must be planned, just like the rest of our lives. If you google self-care, you'll find multiple internet gurus that tell you that self-care must be purposeful. 

Personally, maybe because I'm chronically ill, most of my 'self-care' is spontaneous. I decide what I need in that moment and give myself permission to tweak my day to give myself what I need. Maybe I'm tuckered out at 7pm but my laundry needs folded. Too bad, I need to go to bed. #self-care

I also give myself permission to make every day tasks easier for my energy levels. Walking through walmart takes a LOT out of me, so usually I opt for grocery pickup, sometimes I even get my groceries delivered. #self-care?

I wear things that don't need ironed, shoes that don't need tied, and I don't usually wear makeup. #low maintenance? #self-care?

It seems that "Self-Care" advocates for a separation,taking time OUT of your life, AWAY from people, and maybe that's why I dislike the term. Instead of taking time out of my life, I fill it with things I enjoy, God-given gifts that encourage my soul. I adopted a dog #self-care? Margaret is the only reason I leave my house on some weekends.

I am almost always on the phone with one of my two best friends or a family member.
I've recently discovered a love of podcasts and found that some of the time I listen to music can easily be substituted for encouragement and ideas relating to my field.

Taking care of myself and watching my energy levels, and keeping myself healthy is not self-care, it is not indulgent or something I am ignoring my responsibilities to do. It's a balance, it's being a good steward. It's following Jesus' example. He went off by himself to pray, but he also rubbed elbows with some of the most unloveable, unvalued in his culture.And with apparent joy! If Jesus had an instagram, somehow I just can't see him making a post by the Sea of Gaililee, with the caption "Thankful for the Twelve,but sometimes they're too much. Ask John the Baptist your question, it's self-care time."

The great balance of the Christian Life is serving God everyday, reading your bible, praying, but these are not self-care,they are a command. Relaxation and joy should not be relegated to bubble baths and scented candles, look around throughout your day and realize how blessed you are. Take joy and find gratitude in the noisy kids, the rambunctious dog, even the rush-hour traffic. (You have a car, don't you? On your way home from the job that pays all your bills, aren't you?)

Sometimes we do need quiet, and we do need to step away, but this shouldn't be the only joyful oasis in the desert of our harried, anxious lives. Even self-care can not medicate away depression and anxiety, you need a fundamental change in your life before those cups of tea and bubble baths will do any good at all. Maybe you need medication to balance you out, maybe you need to be plugged into a good church. Maybe you need fuzzy socks. Or maybe you need a combination of all of these, to balance what you need with what you need to get done. Maybe you need to remember that in the same Bible we find the words"If a man does not work, neither shall he eat". (2 Thessalonians 3:10) and "Jesus went off by himself to pray." (Matthew 14:23)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I will live for my child

 “I would die for my child.” A well-known, often said sacrificial statement. I didn’t really know how my fierce love for my child would manifest until the first time she was extremely upset and I didn’t know why.  Readers, I would have cut off a finger to console my baby.  I would die to protect her.  Both are strong, love-filled sentiments. And both, God willing, are unnecessary.  But there’s a daunting task that is absolutely necessary. At times it needs to be a conscious decision. Sometimes it’ll require taking care of yourself so that you can better care for your child. Sometimes, for some, it will literally seem harder to do than to die for your child.  It’s living for your child.  Postpartum depression can sneak up on anyone, and I’ve heard heartbreaking stories of just how deeply it affects moms. Good moms. Awesome moms It’s too early to tell for me, but unfortunately, I have almost every risk factor there is. But I also have a rocking support system and wonderful physicians loo
Read more

The Immersion Method

Several things occur to me when I think about the method I'm using to learn French. The first-I'm never going to succeed. The second-I think I've heard of this before.  The method I'm talking about is the Immersion method, meaning that you basically 'immerse' yourself in the language, surrounding yourself with almost exclusively that language, and you learn out of necessity. This is the same way that children learn their first language, by doing. It  sounded promising, so I decided to give it a shot. I switched my facebook page to french. Bold move, yes, but desperate times call for desperate measures. In addition, I found french episodes of my favorite cartoons ever in the history of the world-courtesy of the wonder known as youtube, of course.  In order to learn a language by the immersion method, you almost have to forget about thinking about anything else and only focus on the language.  This reminded me of Christianity. Why? well, think about it. In
Read more

What shoddy internet can teach us about multitasking

       I've been spoiled for the past several years by lightning-fast internet whenever I wanted it. Even in my parents' basement, (I am a true millennial, after all), service was somewhat spotty, but overall reliable and I was usually able to do whatever I needed or wanted to do on the internet, whenever I wanted to do it.       And then we moved to the boonies. No more lightning-fast internet. No mas. Now are internet needs are served by cellular hotspots eeking out a surfable speed from one MAYBE two bars of service.       It's usable, certainly, but I had to learn to go back to the days of dial-up internet (told you I was a millennial), when you could only do ONE thing on the internet at a time. You couldn't even be on the phone! pictures took forever to load, and playing music was nigh impossible.       This situation is an improvement, but I still had to train myself to remember that no, I actually *don't* need to be playing music while I write, surf the inter
Read more