The Black Friday Paradox
Call me what you want. Call me an old fogey, call me a closed- minded individual, but I simply do not understand Black Friday. It has always puzzled me that America’s biggest retail holiday of the year takes place only one day after we are supposed to be counting our blessings. It seems completely nonsensical. What kind of example do you think that sets for your kids? You talk a good game on Thanksgiving, encouraging everyone to name things they are thankful for, but after dinner, when the turkey coma kicks in and claims your kids, you run to the store like your pants are on fire. All thoughts of gratitude flee your head as your eyes zero in on that must-have item of the season. Your sole objective becomes liberating the newest tech toy from the prison of your local electronics store.
One must consider the holiday that actually takes precedence here, the one where we eat turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce and Great-Grandma’s steel-strength pie crust for afters, or the one where we get to bowl over all in our way and burn off those turkey calories by chasing after the bargains of the season.
Forgive me if my opinions go against the grain of the majority of American consumers, but my idea of a good time is not rolling out of bed in the wee hours and camping on a store’s doorstep until 4am, fighting crowds and trampling old ladies in order to get a great deal.
In fact, as early as 4am is, some stores are upping the ante by opening their doors at midnight. Now, part of my hatred for Black Friday originates in the fact that my dad works retail, and he has to be at work at 11:30 at night on Thanksgiving Day for the midnight opening.
Now this year, as you are hunting for bargains and that perfect gift for that special someone, I would like to ask on behalf of retail employees everywhere that you thank your cashier and sales associates for serving you on Black Friday. They are people with lives, believe or not, and those lives include spouses and children, who have to cope with the fact that their moms and dads go AWOL during the massive sales holiday that is Black Friday.
And if you plan on going Black Friday shopping, I must caution you to arm yourself. The crust from Great-Grandma’s pie should do the job nicely.
One must consider the holiday that actually takes precedence here, the one where we eat turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce and Great-Grandma’s steel-strength pie crust for afters, or the one where we get to bowl over all in our way and burn off those turkey calories by chasing after the bargains of the season.
Forgive me if my opinions go against the grain of the majority of American consumers, but my idea of a good time is not rolling out of bed in the wee hours and camping on a store’s doorstep until 4am, fighting crowds and trampling old ladies in order to get a great deal.
In fact, as early as 4am is, some stores are upping the ante by opening their doors at midnight. Now, part of my hatred for Black Friday originates in the fact that my dad works retail, and he has to be at work at 11:30 at night on Thanksgiving Day for the midnight opening.
Now this year, as you are hunting for bargains and that perfect gift for that special someone, I would like to ask on behalf of retail employees everywhere that you thank your cashier and sales associates for serving you on Black Friday. They are people with lives, believe or not, and those lives include spouses and children, who have to cope with the fact that their moms and dads go AWOL during the massive sales holiday that is Black Friday.
And if you plan on going Black Friday shopping, I must caution you to arm yourself. The crust from Great-Grandma’s pie should do the job nicely.
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